An independent view of the millers and anything else you wish to see on here. Videos, jokes and hopefully games. This page will have nothing to do with NEW MILLS AFC so any comments posted are those of the user and not NMAFC. Please try to keep any jokes etc clean as this is a family website.

AIR FORCE TEST

This will drive you nuts!!  Have fun!
  The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls. If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots.They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!!

Click here to play (opens in a new window).So far the best score is 23.437 seconds.See if you can beat it

This is so spooky

http://milaadesign.com/wizardy.html

Some of Tommy Cooper’s old favourites, shame he were not alive today... To brighten up your windy mornings and rainy afternoons

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal."
 
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
 
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
 
I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
 
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
 
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue."  I said "No, just a watch."
 
I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he then?"

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.
 
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
   
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.

The recruitment consultant asked me "What do you think of voluntary work? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
 
I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this is for the custard."
 
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."
 
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."
 
I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!"

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
 
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"
 
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road"
 
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
 
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
 
I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I borrow Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"
 
A waiter asks a man, "May I take your order, sir?" "Yes," the man replies. "I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

We have had a request to post the following photo of "GOD" and Scan Man in the club after the Oldham game. Best of mates but are they to become best of Team Mates??????

We were at the Darts Semi Finals last night (Sunday 30th Dec) and came across this banner.....

Looks like someone else thinks-what we already know!!!!!!

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